When God Sends forth a tiny soul
to Learn the ways of earth ....
A Mothers love is waiting there
we call this wonder birth.
When God calls home a little soul
And stills a fleeting breath ...
A fathers love is waiting there
this too is birth ... not death.
The loss of a child is something no parent should have to experience. It seems completely unfair, it goes aganist everything we know. Our children are not suppose to leave this world first. The loss of a child is uncomparable to any other loss. It is as though a piece of your own self has gone away with them. There seems to almost literally feel as though there is a hole in your heart, an empty piece our babies took with them. I know this feel so well, my husband and I lost our 3rd child, Zachary on November 30, 1999.
Those first 3 months I lived in a state of disbelief. This didn't really happen, Zachary was not really gone, the hospital would be calling any day to tell me there had been a mistake. After about 3 months, reality set in. That is when I realized Zachary was gone. Learning to cope with that type of reality is not easy, but it is possible. I help to run the grief division of Kids With Heart National Association for Children's Heart Disorders. It is my sincere hope that we will be able to provide support and hope to those that have been through such an unthinkable tragedy. We will do what we can to help you in your journey with grief.
On this page, you will find special notices for events concerning the loss of a child, suggestions on how to cope with holidays and every day life, and a link to an online support group to talk with others who have also experienced the loss a loved one to a congenital heart defect. If you are looking to better understand and support someone going through the loss of a child, I highly recommend you take a few moments to read the Do's and Don't written by Mary Cleckley, Atlanta, Ga Copyright 1981.
Want to talk with other families that can relate to what it is like to loss someone to a congenital heart defect? This list is for mothers, fathers, aunts, grandparents, and anyone who has lost a loved one of any age to a congenital heart defect. Visit Grieving Hearts, an online listserve through Yahoo for people that have lost a loved one because of a congenital heart defect.
Dad's Grieving Hearts
Men grieve so much differently than women. Dad's Grieving Hearts was created spefically as a safe place for dads to come to share their experience and talk about their grief. Visit Dad's Grieving Hearts, an online listserve through Yahoo for dads that have lost a child because of a congenital heart defect.
Bereavemenet packages are a complimentary gift from Kids With Heart for families who have lost a loved one to a congenital heart defect. These packages include information other families have found helpful. These packages are able to be distributed free of charge because of donations given to Kids With Heart NACHD Inc. for this purpose. Please consider helping to keep this wonderful service going by making your donation to sponsor a grief package today. Grief packages can be sponsored in memory of your loved one. To request a bereavement package for yourself or someone you care about, please contact us with the name and address of where the package should be sent. Requests can also be made by calling 1-800-538-5390. *Bereavement Packages are free of Cost, however, donations are greatly appreciated in order to keep this serviceavailable.
By Martha Cowan for Angie In Loving Memory of Zachary
Tiny angels taking flight
Before we saw you grow
And, yet, the purpose
That you brought,
I know, someday, I'll know.
Your time with me was stolen,
Your tiny hand is gone
Leaving me in heartache
To face the pain alone.
But I know you brought
From Heaven here to me
There's so much waiting in Gods plan
That very soon I'll see.
And, someday when I hold you
And see your precious smile..
That reassures this 'waiting time'
Was more than worth the while.
God had His plans in Heaven.
That you must play a part.
And so your time here in the world
So vaguely made a start.
Yet proudly, someday, I will stand
Beside you, with a smile.
In comfort that..you never left;
Heaven borrowed you a while.
Tips to Supporting a Grieving Loved One
Helping another who is grieving can be difficult, especially if they are grieving a lost child. For those who are in this sad and unfortunate situation, we have a list of ways you can help those you love to cope with their loss. The Do's and Don'ts to Help a Grieving Loved One should be used as a guideline, and it is important to remember that everyone grieves differently, and that one of the most important factors remains your support.